Colors allow my wandering consciousness to search for peace, when the blue-white-yellow become together a sense of harmony. It’s an example of how they shine when multiple colors are together, how they look nicer, how they absorb us when they are mixed together, no matter which colors—they shine with each other more.
Each color has its own meaning and uniqueness as we use it for particular times and functions, so it’s really necessary to use the one that fits to make better sense of the surroundings.
We play with color all day, but don’t realize it. If we had only one or two colors, how our life would become boring and meaningless! No matter what we’d wear, what we’d make, from houses to dresses and cities, countries; everywhere would be silent and colorless. It would look like night 24 hours; we wouldn’t feel the day, the sunshine, the lustre—we’d all be deprived of the sight of nature’s beauty. For me, it’s impossible to imagine how unpleasant it would be for everyone.
One of my favourite places to visit when I need time to hang out is the Bazaar. Its immensity is of no concern to me—in actual fact the Bazar gives me excitement when I look around the hordes of colours, crowds of people gathered there, vast, full of life. The sound crashing onto the street below reaches in lightly, touching the feet of the people.
Once when I was small, I found myself in a strange place. For a moment it felt like it was a nightmare, but it was true—I’d Iost my mother. The day was hot and sunny; you couldn’t look at the sun, it was splendid to your eyes. If you looked directly, its pure shining would make your eyes sightless. Besides that, it was too stifling, with crowds of people, so that when you passed people you felt the lack of oxygen, the smell of sweat and different kinds of perfumes.
It was packed with purchasers and sellers in the Bazaar. I was immersed in fantasies.
I tried to search for my mother but it was too late and I was speechless. How could I find my mother? It was getting dark. The night was approaching. How could this happen to me? Why did I leave my mother’s skirt? I was blaming myself. She’d told me to take hold of her skirt tightly, but I forgot it for a while among this colorful world and my own childish thought. It was my mistake. I started crying as silent as I could, trying to hide it from others.
I was scared; what if I wasn’t able to see my mother again? What if I became motherless after this? Thousands of thoughts came into my mind in a minute.
Suddenly I saw someone. He started asking questions. “Why are you crying?” He realized that I had got lost.
I didn’t reply to him.
He said, “Don’t worry. I will find your parents. What is your name?”
I didn’t reply him at all. I just cried and thought of what would happen if my mother didn’t find me? I just thought that my life was ending here; without her mother, life is nothing for a child. I was praying to God, “Please tell my mother that I’m in front of the PCO and tell her to come here and take me home with her. I can’t live without her wish.” God heard me right at the moment.
As the sun slipped away, the sky grew darker. I lost the hope that my mother could find me. Before it got to later night, I heard the familiar sound.
“It’s my mother’s sound! I can’t believe God listened to my prayer. It is my mother!” Without looking at my mother I closed my eyes and thanked God for listening to my prayer.
In a second, my mother hugged me, crying “How did I lose you today? My heart stopped beating when I realized you were not with me. Don’t worry, I’m with you now, my lovely daughter.”
She took me to home with her.
It was the happiest moment of my life I ever had.
I wish I could experience it again with my far-away mother.
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Smoke and Mirrors with Sadia Ramazani
Interviewed by Jemimah Wei
Can you tell us about your own relationship to writing, both in your home language and in English?
It gives me the feeling that whenever I write, I will not regret it, without any fear. Paper and pen is a good secret keeper.
How do you hope readers are changed by your story, and how did writing the story change you?
Living among a different community, it’s good to not create between people alien feelings.
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Sadia Ramazani seeks always to be honest when she takes up the pen.
Art by Daniel Olah
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