SmokeLong Quarterly

Wow—what a gorgeous piece. Take me through the process of creating a work so perfectly compressed. I think about Ezra Pound who famously carved away at “In a Station of the Metro” until he had those gorgeous three lines (including the title).

it’s funny that you bring up that poem because one of my teachers once described Ezra’s work as language laid bare. which is a phrase i love but can only understand as something unadorned. that’s what i attempt to do with most of my work, in this piece, especially since i’m a nonfiction flash writer. when trying to translate memory onto the page, the quickest way to do this translation is in compression, figuring out what is vital, how to get rid of the gunk, & determine the quality of a memory. that’s where compression lives.

Love how this piece begins—“strangers dress like a tarantula  … ,” which to me implies some kind of danger right at the outset, which intensifies midway with “whoreor” stories (but that’s also kind of funny). Was that the intention? If so—what’s the danger here?

i didn’t intend it to be danger, which is interesting to think about. when starting this draft, i couldn’t help but think about the absurdity that you can find yourself in while at a party, especially at a halloween party. i was trying to show that even dressed up & surrounded by fiction, there is always a danger present in being. i wanted the chaos of these moments to show the stark contrast between how many of us behave out in the world contrasted to our inner turmoils.

Listen, I teared up when I read: “… the last boy I touched broke into rainfall ….” What a gorgeous line. What were you trying to capture?

i’m really happy that you liked that line. so many different iterations existed. i didn’t really know how to capture this memory of mine, of a stranger breaking down in front of me, & i never really thought about the quality of tears either, how different they feel not only to ourselves but to how others experience them. when describing this moment, i wanted to find a word that mimicked the vulnerable action of the stranger in the piece, who held so many different emotions, innocence, yearning, & perhaps above all, gentleness. for me, it’s difficult to not think of tears & bodies of water, maybe cause of the natural associations that occur. i tried thinking about what kind of water had that same quality as the stranger’s grief & rainfall just made sense. rainfalls can be a wild torrent, but each droplet is also soft & tender. their plurality makes their strength—& that’s what this description needed to capture, all the wants, desires, & sorrows.

I loved this whole piece, but the last two lines were stunning with the seeming contradiction of the physical “shoving” and the emotional / spiritual—“let me breathe air into you too.” Can you talk about your intentions for the ending and for the way it impacts the piece as a whole?

i didn’t intend to end this piece in this capacity. it happened naturally, since it was my experience of attending a party after experiencing this moment with a stranger & not processing the weight of it. i found my way to this space because the piece wanted to exist in this small intimacy, in that beauty we can do for each other. even if we don’t want to admit it or like to, strangers keep us alive, & we keep strangers alive. it’s reciprocal. i wanted to show this exchange because the piece is all about how in communion we are with each other, & how the joys we experience cannot happen without the silent, tender connections we have.

“strangers breathe air into you” is a finalist in the SmokeLong Grand Micro Contest. I’ve also been told that another piece won the competition! Congratulations! Were you surprised at placing (so prominently!) and winning?

i’m surprised to be honest. i kind of took a year off from writing, as i’ve found it hard to find time to write & also figure out, as most of us do, what value my writing has to give not only to others but myself. to have so many pieces place high is a blessing & reminder that people can connect with my work. i also think it’s wild to be in this position, since, just a few years ago, i was reading smokelong, submitting all my work & being rejected probably about 20 times before my first publication in smokelong. now, to be winning this contest, is just a great moment of reflection & growth.