Rock by Stephanie Johnson art by Robinson Accola He ran toward the river and watched his brother's head rise and disappear, rise and disappear as the current butted him downstream. No one had gone after his brother: not the other boys, not his mother, not him. Then, finally, his brother's arms began to move, hand-over-hand, like a baby learning to crawl, his progress slow at first. He watched as his brother mastered his breathing, face up (1, 2, 3) inhale, face under (4, 5, 6) exhale. He could hear his swim teacher's voice demonstrating the rhythm. Their mother had warned him he had better pass this time because she wasn't paying for a third try. By the time he swam to the bank, his brother was laughing. He laughed so hard it made him cough. Then, their mother started laughing, too. She used margarita salt to remove the river leech on his brother's leg. "Don't you cry," she told his brother, and he didn't. Five years later, this is the day you remember as you sit in the kitchen with your mother, the two of you caught in the pause before something has to happen. You can only wait until he washes up, until speculation becomes fact. "A rock," she says. "He hits his head and not one person hears him go in?" You bring her fresh ice and keep her comfortable with your silence. "He was my first," she slurs, "but you were my favorite." Later, when it's much darker and you both know no more news will come until morning, your mother gets it in her head to release the parakeets you and he gave her for Mother's Day two years back. They were gifts for her, but she let the two of you name them. Your brother named his Starsky, and you named yours Butch. On nights when your brother was out—down by the river for bonfires and beers—and when you were supposed to be sleeping, you used to listen to her talk to the birds. "This isn't how this is supposed to be," she says now. She opens the cage and reaches for Starsky. "You're wild," she tells him. She turns him loose. She opens the patio door and shoos him toward it. "Get out, get out." When the bird doesn't make it past the kitchen table, she goes to the closet for the broom, cocks back her arm like a home-run slugger. Her first shot goes wide. The bird begins to panic. Confused, it starts back toward the cage, and she hits it hard with a second swing, lets the broom fall along with its body. "Fly, goddamn it." When she pulls Butch from the cage, you have to stop her. Don't, you say. Take the bird from her shaking hands. Smooth its ruffled feathers, its clipped wings. Hold it against your heart, and then tell her the truth as you see it: he's not going to leave you. He doesn't know the first thing about how it feels to fly. All content in SmokeLong Quarterly copyright 2003-2012 by its authors. Stephanie Johnson's story collection "One of These Things is Not Like the Others" is available from Keyhole Press. Read the interview. Robinson Accola creates artwork for SmokeLong Quarterly as needed. Issue Twenty-Eight (July 25, 2010): Young Waitresses by Steve Almond «» Frank by Matt Baker «» The Life and Times of Dmitri Kulikov by Tobias Amadon Bengelsdorf «» Scapegoat by Thomas Cooper «» What You Could Catch Me Bumping by Craig Davis «» Complicit by Gay Degani «» What You See When You Think of Home by John Mark DeMoss «» In the Attic by Murray Dunlap «» A Flower Thing by Jen Gann «» Seahorse Sex by Molly Giles «» Gertie by Kyle Hemmings «» Vertigo by Ann Hillesland «» Rock by Stephanie Johnson «» A Shot of Whatever by David LaBounty «» Palo Alto by Paul Lisicky «» The Lake House by Michelle McMahon «» Hell Is a Headline by Emily McPhillips «» How I Liked the Avocados by Wendy Oleson «» Regrets by Bridget Pelkie «» What Passes for Normal by Michelle Reale «» Avalanche by Joseph Scapellato «» Last Seen Leaving by Laura Ellen Scott «» Explicable by Sabrina Stoessinger «» A Fistful of Buttercups by Nancy Stebbins «» My Maggie by Eugenia F. Tsutsumi «» The Ghost by Russell Whitaker «» The Strain of Collusion by xTx «» Interviews: Steve Almond «» Matt Baker «» Tobias Amadon Bengelsdorf «» Thomas Cooper «» Craig Davis «» Gay Degani «» John Mark DeMoss «» Murray Dunlap «» Jen Gann «» Molly Giles «» Kyle Hemmings «» Ann Hillesland «» Stephanie Johnson «» David LaBounty «» Michelle McMahon «» Emily McPhillips «» Wendy Oleson «» Bridget Pelkie «» Michelle Reale «» Joseph Scapellato «» Laura Ellen Scott «» Nancy Stebbins «» Sabrina Stoessinger «» Eugenia F. Tsutsumi «» xTx «» Cover Art "Wall Street Must Be Tripping" by Marty D. Ison «» Letter From the Editor Interested in subscribing to SmokeLong's weekly newsletter? Click here. An email should be created. Send it as is, and you'll be subscribed. If the link does not work for you, send an email to imailsrv@smokelong.com with Subscribe slq-info in the body of the email (no subject is necessary). You'll receive updates detailing the release of new issues, new reading periods, contests, etc. We do not make our mail list available to anyone else.