Woman in a Bar
by Dorianne Laux
She'd buy a pack of cigarettes from the corner grocer and linger at the counter, picking at the seal, tugging the red strip embedded in cellophane, and unfold the silver origami paper to reveal a row of blind white filters, in no rush. The Gas Lamp, The Duet, The Past Time, The Come-On-Inn.
She'd say, "Let's go there."
The bar would be dark, patrons swimming through the gloom-hovering light, neon letters spaghettied across the lacquered walls, blue smoke drifting tributaries above the heads of those who had just stepped in out of the rain or out of the too-bright sun, out of the wind or a stagnant heat. They were all there for the same reason, to stare into the foam of a cold beer, a dark rum and coke, a clear-as-glacier-water martini, sucking pimentos from the bodies of green olives one by one.
We'd enter like strangers in a matinee western, everyone turning on their stools to glance at us standing in the open door, the light of the world streaming in around our shoulders, falling in motes from our hair. It was a movie set: the long mirror resting sideways in its gilded frame, the sepia strains of Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett, the shallow donation baskets of pretzels and nuts. I ordered one drink and sipped at it, but my friend ordered a beer back and three of something strong, straight up, tipping her head and throwing them down while she laughed.
Shot glass after shot glass lined up like spent shells next to her blown open purse. She would talk to anyone then, about anything: politics, religion, sex. Drink made her fearless and flirty, and because this was in the early years of her drinking, gorgeous. By midnight she was ordering bread sticks or French fries with catsup saying "Let's stay a little longer."
I loved her. Anyone sitting at that bar could tell you why. Even in the locked bathroom where she leaned over the toilet and the night poured from her throat in a gold gush. I held her heavy hair back while she fumed and retched, stroking wet strands from her forehead. I pulled her off her knees and helped her stand, held a folded paper towel under the dripping faucet and blotted her face, the nape of her neck, helped her find her lipstick, her hairbrush, stood beside her while she cupped a palm full of water and swished it between her teeth. She was ready for anything now, refreshed, newly coherent, dazzlingly alive. Her skin, pore-less, fragrant, smooth as the sink she leaned against to apply her mascara, glowing under the violet fluorescent light.
All content in SmokeLong Quarterly copyright 2003-2014 by its authors.
A finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award, Dorianne Laux's fourth book of poems, Facts about the Moon (W.W. Norton), is the recipient of the Oregon Book Award and was short-listed for the Lenore Marshall Poetry Prize. Laux is also author of Awake (1990) What We Carry (1994) Smoke (2000) and Superman: The Chapbook (2008). Another chapbook, Dark Charms, will be published this summer by Red Dragonfly Press. She teaches at North Carolina State University.
Read the interview.
Geri Digiorno is Sonoma's poet laureate. She blogs at http://geri-digiorno.petaluma360.com/.
|Issue Twenty-Five (June 25, 2009): Bush Chanting by Cynthia Helen Beecher «» Flying Pens by Pam Bolton «» Rats by Z.Z. Boone «» The Hobblers by Dan Chaon «» Slanguistic Lipstick by Frank Dahai «» Rain by Natalie DeClerck «» Good Friday by Steven Gullion «» Me and Theodore Are Trapped in the Trunk of the Car with Rags in Our Mouths and Tape Around Our Wrists and Ankles, Please Let Us Out. by Mary Hamilton «» Underfoot by Joan Harvey «» A Minor Setback by Tara Laskowski «» Woman in a Bar by Dorianne Laux «» Matt: How It Will Happen by Amanda Nazario «» Trace by Darlin' Neal «» Exile on Payne Street by Ryan Ridge «» Home Economics by Gail Louise Siegel «» A Funny Smell by Ray Vukcevich «» Andersonville by Lindsay Marianna Walker «» Northern Migration by Brandon Wicks «» Interviews: Cynthia Helen Beecher «» Pam Bolton «» Z.Z. Boone «» Dan Chaon «» Frank Dahai «» Natalie DeClerck «» Steven Gullion «» Mary Hamilton «» Joan Harvey «» Tara Laskowski «» Dorianne Laux «» Amanda Nazario «» Darlin' Neal «» Ryan Ridge «» Gail Louise Siegel «» Ray Vukcevich «» Lindsay Marianna Walker «» Brandon Wicks «» Cover Art "The Vanishing Lotus" by Marty D. Ison «» Letter From the Editor|