by Kathy Fish
“Been seeing my father kissing some woman in his car when I’m walking home from basketball practice,” I say. “Different spots, he changes it up. Scrawny woman, hair like fingers pointing out of her head. He can kiss whoever he wants, no question. But I’m tired, seriously tired, of these displays.”
The Trinity boys don’t blame me at all. They know I am not stupid about the world. I am a robust girl. Nevertheless, like everyone else I have limits. I am a clock that winds down.
“Check it,” I say, because there they are, Jesus, right in the parking lot of Sunnyside Foods. Like he wants me to see him. The Trinity boys follow my finger. And the skinny one whistles. My father and the woman untangle themselves. I wave my arms and yell, “Over here, hot shot.”
Every night my mom dreams she’s sprayed with bullets. “I can feel the blood seeping from the holes,” she says. I want to scream. I want to tell her don’t rock back and forth like that, don’t affect that gypsy accent! Emotionally, my father is sixteen years old. The dream indicates all loss of hope.
I am the best freshman center in Terre Haute. My father sits in the bleachers at all the home games. He has saved every one of my baby teeth and carries them in a leather pouch. He has been known to show them to the other spectators. The night he moved out he shot Nerf balls into the hoop on my bedroom door. I sat on the bed with my head deep in the hood of my sweatshirt, pretending to read Cannery Row. I am at a crossroads, Daffodil, he told me. A crossroads!
I stop at Sunnyside Foods and buy food for dinner. I am my mother’s angel. I buy cigarettes and a Bic lighter. Those fine boys wait across the street. I’m going to offer them a smoke. The clerk counts change. He tells me be good and shakes my hand. He doesn’t care. Around here, I am a celebrity.
All content in SmokeLong Quarterly copyright 2003-2014 by its authors.
Kathy Fish has published numerous flash fictions both online and in print. Her story, "Shoebox" was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She has stories forthcoming in Gator Springs Gazette, Noo Journal, N.O.L.A. Spleen and Night Train.
Read the interview.
|Issue Thirteen (June 15, 2006): A Foreign Woman by Roberta Allen «» Fetichismo by Christopher Battle «» How the Broken Lead the Blind Until They Both Become Something Else Entirely by Matt Bell «» See Odi Naked by Lisa K. Buchanan «» Memory of Sky by Jai Clare «» The Captain by Ron Currie, Jr. «» Bingham by Steve Cushman «» The Table by David Erlewine «» Daffodil by Kathy Fish «» Fishing by Mike Hagemann «» Real Estate by Jennifer A. Howard «» Emily Avenue by Jeff Landon «» Tough Act by Steven J. McDermott «» Cheering by Srdan Papic «» Something Blew by Ellen Parker «» Euclid's Elements by Mary Lynn Reed «» Miracle by Chad Simpson «» Her Lips by Claudia Smith «» Man and Dog by Girija Tropp «» Randomization by Joseph Young «» Interviews: Roberta Allen «» Matt Bell «» Lisa K. Buchanan «» Jai Clare «» Ron Currie, Jr. «» Steve Cushman «» Katrina Denza «» David Erlewine «» Kathy Fish «» Mike Hagemann «» Jennifer A. Howard «» Jeff Landon «» Steven J. McDermott «» Srdan Papic «» Ellen Parker «» Mary Lynn Reed «» Chad Simpson «» Claudia Smith «» Girija Tropp «» Joseph Young «» Cover Art "Despair" by Marty D. Ison «» Letter From the Editor|