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He Stayed for Breakfast
by Astrid Schott

art by Marty D. Ison
art by Marty D. Ison
You should not look at me like this. I cannot stand it. I know that I have red eyes and my roots are showing.

You know what I saw near the Winterfeldplatz? A blue dog. His head was original grey-dog-color and his roots were showing, too. I bet he has a blue tongue, from licking.

I do not know why I tell you this, no, and licking was not the place we ever wanted to go again—I cannot remember you ever doing a great job. Job? It is fine, yes. I have a fine job. All the folks very nice, an office job. I file information about the parks and playgrounds; it’s just that the authorities know what we have and what state it is in, and by the time I am done, another tree has died or something is broken down, so it never ends. Make ends meet, why do they say that? Who is meeting whom? By the way, why don’t you have more meetings in Berlin? You used to come more often—haha punch intended.

This is understandable, you moved up, no need to travel yourself. Well, good for you; I hope you got rid of that crazy boss you used to talk about. Ha? That was not you? Sure it was you, or perhaps that was one of your juniors, who is now coming to visit the big city.

Don’t get me wrong, it was nice that you called and came by, but now I have to send you back into the shark tank—this girl has to work.

Close the door; kill the monkey.

Where is this stupid cellphone. Nancy? Guess who was here tonight? Yes, touristic conference. No, not him. Yes, him. You know what? I think I still love him. Cannot stand him though. Arrogant prick. But love him. Has this little bald spot now. Yes I cry. Okay, til then, bring the beer.

All content in SmokeLong Quarterly copyright 2003-2014 by its authors.



Astrid Schott is 42, a medical doctor and scientist, and has two children and a husband. She lives in Berlin, Germany.

Read the interview.
Issue Ten (September 15, 2005): Capsicum by Anne Marie Jackson «» Donat Bobet's Halloween by Bruce Holland Rogers «» The Arrival by Nathan Leslie «» The Law by Edgar Omar Avilés, translated by Toshiya A. Kamei «» Five Fat Men in a Hot Tub by Jeff Landon «» Hoover by Cally Taylor «» Are You Okay? by Joshua Hampel «» The Kindness of Strangers by Otis Brown «» Mrs. Krishnan by Kuzhali Manickavel «» Crossing the Orinoco by William Reese Hamilton «» The Elements of Summer by Laura Stallard Petza «» Closer to Paul by Patti Jazanoski «» Hawesville, Kentucky by Nance Knauer «» He Stayed for Breakfast by Astrid Schott «» Gardening by Antonios Maltezos «» Outer Space by Tom Saunders «» Blind Love by Robert Bradley «» Arks by Alan Girling «» Chitlins by Bob Arter «» Strange Fruit by Suzanne Lafetra «» Interviews: Anne Marie Jackson «» Bruce Holland Rogers «» Nathan Leslie «» Toshiya A. Kamei «» Jeff Landon «» Cally Taylor «» Joshua Hampel «» Otis Brown «» Kuzhali Manickavel «» William Reese Hamilton «» Laura Stallard Petza «» Patti Jazanoski «» Nance Knauer «» Astrid Schott «» Antonios Maltezos «» Tom Saunders «» Robert Bradley «» Alan Girling «» Bob Arter «» Suzanne Lafetra «» Joseph Young «» Cover Art "The Creation of Time and the Plagiarism of Bosch" by Marty D. Ison «» Letter From the Editor
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